Mission: Earth Fortune of Fear
Mission: Earth "Fortune of Fear"
Ron L. Hubbard
A monumental work – acclaimed as agenuine masterpiece – L. Ron Hubbard's 1.2-million-word-ten-volume MISSION EARTH dekalogy brilliantly blends science fiction and action/adventure on a vast interstellar scale with stinging satire – in the literary tradition of Voltaire, Swift and Orwell – on the world's foibles and fancies.
A true publishing phenomenon – precedent-setting when each volume, in turn, became a New York Times and then an international bestseller – MISSION EARTH has already sold more than five million copies and continues to appear on bestseller lists in contries throghout the world.
Winner of France's Cosmos 2000 Award and the Nova Science Fiction Award in Italy, and nominated for a Hugo Award, MISSION EARTH is an epic narrative of a secret invasion of Earth as seen-and vividly recounted – by the aliens who, unrecognized, already live and work among us. It is a novel crowded with sharply memorable characters and with places and events cloaked in splendor, menace and mystery: Palace City, Joy City, the forbidden prison fortress of Spiteos, the violent fall of the Voltar Confederation.
The Voltar Confederation has a long-range plan to use Earth as a strategic staging area in its continuing conquest of the galaxy. However, with the discovery that Earth is being destroyed by pollution, drugs and other menaces, Combat Engineer Jettero Heller is sent on a top-secret mission to save the planet from self-destruction. Unknown to Heller, another Voltarian faction (the Coordinated Information Apparatus) has secretly been using Earth as a supply base for drugs. It dispatches its own counter mission to thwart Heller's plans.
Mission: Earth "Fortune of Fear"
Censor's Disclaimer
There is more than one reason why the Crown finds this overimaginative work most unacceptable.
First and foremost, of course, is that it purports to be about a planet called "Earth" and no such planet exists under that name or its pretended astrographic designation of Blito-P3. Admittedly, it has been cleverly created down to characters and locations. That is the precise danger for the unsuspecting reader.
It is also claimed that "Earth" is on the Invasion Timetable and thus scheduled for capture. The Timetable bequeathed by our ancestors has the status of Divine Command. It has unerringly guided us for well over 125,000 years. Altering it in any way would disrupt every sector of our Confederacy and pose the greatest of dangers. Yet even a cursory glance will show that there is NO such planet on the Timetable. By making such a claim, by seeking to lend credence to this pretense and by invoking the work of our ancestors, the author walks the thin line of heresy.
In like manner, the representations of cellology in this work border on the obscene. That any member of this science would be used to make human freaks is in violation of every known cellological ethical code.
Additionally, and as I have stated before, the sexual practices of this fallacious planet are beyond the most ridiculous credibility. Such behavior would repulse even the disgusting subanimals of Gartch.
The reader is also warned that the author has cleverly wrapped this frivolous deception in what is otherwise quite familiar. For example, the so-called Atlantic City in this volume will be recognized as nothing more than a paltry, scaled-down version of our own Joy City, not to mention the play-planets. In short, this fanciful yarn has no real contact with agreed-upon fact and is attempting to subvert and cast doubts upon everything from our ancestral Timetable to established science.
That is the inherent danger in believing the most outlandish claim of all-that there is such a planet as "Earth."
Once the reader sees through that fallacy and recognizes that THERE IS NO SUCH PLANET AS "EARTH," this fable can be put into its proper perspective.
Lord Invay
Royal Historian
Chairman, Board of Censors
Royal Palace
Voltar Confederacy
By Order of
His Imperial Majesty
Wully the Wise
Voltarian Translator's Preface
Hi there!
This is the Robotbrain in the Translatophone, otherwise known as 54 Charlee Nine.
My mandate is still to inform you that I translated this work from what was dictated by one Soltan Gris, according to the bylaws of the Machine Purity League.
I also want to assure you that I am incapable of dreaming up the ideas or scenes depicted herein. I never even heard of Blindstein, Bugs Bunny, the Marquis de Sade and the other psychoscientists of Earth until I got this job. And I hope I never hear of them again. All they give me is a fuse ache. I don't know which one is worse: Blindstein, with his idea that nothing travels faster than the speed of light; de Sade who said that pain is pleasure; or Bugs, who goes down a rabbit hole and then asks "What's up, doc?"
If they are a cross-section of Earth, you can keep it, if you can find it. I've got enough to do. I can be of service and provide a Key to this volume and verify the Chief Censor's remark that Earth does not appear on the Invasion Timetable.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to handle a small mutiny in my logic circuits. Like everyone else, they have trouble maintaining their sanity when dealing with Earth.
Sincerely,
54 Charlee Nine
Robotbrain in the Translatophone
Key to FORTUNE OF FEAR
Absorbo-coat-Coating that absorbs light waves, making the object virtually invisible or undetectable. It is usually applied to spacecraft
Activator-receiver-A unit that Soltan Gris uses to activate and receive the signals from the bugs that are implanted in the Countess Krak and Jettero Heller. The unit receives what they are seeing and hearing.
Afyon-City in Turkey where the Apparatus has a secret base.
Agnes, Miss-Personal aide to Delbert John Rockecenter.
Agricultural Station-The Agricultural Training Center for Peasants, a cover activity for the secret Apparatus base in Afyon, Turkey.
Ahmed-Taxi driver for Soltan Gris in Afyon. He is also known as Deplor, an Apparatus agent from the planet Modon.
Antimancos-A race exiled long ago from the planet Manco for ritual murders.
Apparatus, Coordinated Information-The secret police of Voltar, headed by Lombar Hisst and manned by criminals.
Assassin Pilots-Space pilots used to kill any Apparatus personnel who try to flee a battle.
Atalanta-Home province of Jettero Hellerand the Countess Krak on the planet Manco.
Audio-respondo-mitter-See Respondo-Mitters.
Babe Corleone-The six-foot-six leader of the Corleone mob, who "adopted" Jettero Heller into her Mafia Family.
Bang-Bang Rimbombo-An ex-marine demolitions expert and member of the Babe Corleone mob. He also attends Jettero Heller's college Army ROTC classes in place of Heller at EmpireUniversity.
Barben, I. G.-Pharmaceutical company controlled by Delbert John Rockecenter.
Bawteh-Soltan Gris's chief clerk back on Voltar.
Bildirjin, Nurse-Turkish teen-age nurse who assists Prahd Bittlestiffender.
Bittlestiffender, Prahd-Voltarian cellologist who implanted Jettero Heller and the Countess Krak.
Blito-P3-Voltarian designation for a planet known locally as "Earth." It is the third planet (P3) of a yellow-dwarf star known as Blito. It is on the Invasion Timetable as a future way stop on Voltar's route toward the center of this galaxy.
Blixo- Apparatus freighter, piloted by Captain Bolz, that makes regular runs between Earth and Voltar. The voyage takes about six weeks each way.
Bolz-Captain of the freighter Blixo.
Bugging Gear-Electronic eavesdropping devices, including the respondo-mitters, that Soltan Gris had Prahd Bittlestiffender imp
lant in Jettero Heller and the Countess Krak. With these "bugs" and his video unit Gris can eavesdrop on them without their knowledge. The signals are picked up by the activator-receiver and decoder that Gris carries. When Heller or the Countess Krak are more than 200 miles from Gris, the 831 Relayer is used to boost the signals to a range of 10,000 miles.
Bury-Delbert John Rockecenter's most powerful attorney, a member of the firm of Swindle and Crouch.
Calico, Mister-Cat discovered by Jettero Heller and trained by the Countess Krak.
Candy Licorice-Lesbian "wife" of Miss Pinch.
Caucalsia, Prince-According to legend, he fled Atalanta, Manco to set up a colony on Earth.
Cellology-Voltarian medical science that can repair the body through the cellular generation of tissues, including entire body parts.
Code Break-Alerting others that one is an alien. Per a section of the Space Code, it carries an automatic death penalty. The purpose is to maintain the security of the Invasion Timetable.
Control Star-An electronic device disguised as a star-shaped medallion that can paralyze any of the Apparatus crew of Antimancos that brought Soltan Gris and Jettero Heller to Earth. It was given to Gris by Lombar Hisst.
Coordinated Information Apparatus-See Apparatus.
Crobe, Doctor- Apparatus doctor and cellologist who worked in Spiteos; he delights in making freaks.
Empire University-Where Jettero Heller is taking classes in New York City.
Epstein, Izzy–Financial expert and anarchist who was hired by Jettero Heller to set up and run several corporations under the name of Multinational.
Faht Bey-Turkish name of the commander of the secret Apparatus base in Afyon.
F. F. B. O.-Fatten, Farten, Burstein and Ooze, the largest advertising firm in the world. J. Walter Madison works for them.
Fleet-The elite space fighting arm of Voltar to which Jettero Heller belongs and which the Apparatus despises.
Gracious Palms-An elegant whorehouse in which Jettero Heller stayed when he was first in New York City. It is owned by Babe Corleone and patronized by delegates to the United Nations.
Grafferty, "Bulldog"-A crooked New York City police inspector.
Grand Council-The governing body of Voltar which ordered a mission to keep Earth from destroying itself so it could be conquered on schedule per the Invasion Timetable.
Gris, Soltan- Apparatus officer in charge of the Blito-P3 (Earth) section and an enemy of Jettero Heller.
Heller, Jettero-Combat engineer and Royal officer of the Fleet, sent by Grand Council order, with Soltan Gris, on Mission Earth in order to save Earth from its own imminent self-destruction by pollution and nuclear holocaust. He is operating on Earth under the name of Jerome Terrance Wister.
Hisst, Lombar-Head of the Apparatus. In order to keep the Grand Council from discovering his plan to overthrow the Confederacy, he sent Soltan Gris to Earth to sabotage Jettero Heller's mission.
Hot Jolt-A popular Voltarian drink.
Hypnohelmet-Device placed over the head and used to induce a hypnotic state.
Inkswitch-Phony name used by Soltan Gris when he is in the U. S., pretending to be a Federal officer.
Invasion Timetable-A schedule of galactic conquest. The plans and budget of every section of Voltar's government must adhere to it. Bequeathed by Voltar's ancestors hundreds of thousands of years ago, it is inviolate and sacred and the guiding dogma of the Confederacy.
Karagoz-Turkish peasant, head of Soltan Gris's house in Afyon.
Knife Section-Section of the Apparatus named after its favorite weapon.
Krak, Countess-Condemned murderess, prisoner of Spiteos and sweetheart of Jettero Heller.
Kutzbrain, Doctor-Awell-known Earth psychiatrist.
Lepertige-Large catlike animal as tall as a man.
Line-jumper-Spacecraft used by the Voltarian Army to lift and quickly move up to 100 tons across battle lines.
Madison, J. Walter-Fired from F. F. B. O. when his style of public relations caused the president of Patagonia to commit suicide, he was rehired by Bury to immortalize Jettero Heller in the media. He is also known as J. Warbler Madman.
Magic Mail- Apparatus trick where a letter is mailed but won't be delivered as long as a designated card is regularly sent; used for blackmail, extortion or coercion.
Manco-Home planet of Jettero Heller and the Countess Krak.
Manco Devil-Mythological spirit native to Manco.
Maysabongo-Asmall African nation of which Jettero Heller was made a representative. Izzy Epstein made some of Heller's businesses Maysabongo corporations.
Meeley-Soltan Gris's landlady back on Voltar.
Melahat-Soltan Gris's Turkish housekeeper in Afyon. She is the wife of Karagoz.
Multinational-Name of umbrella corporation that Izzy Epstein set up to manage other Jettero Heller companies. Its offices are located in the Empire State Building.
Musef-A former Turkish wrestling champion.
Nature Appreciation 101-Class taught by Miss Simmons to which she has assigned Jettero Heller in order to flunk him out of Empire University.
Octopus Oil-A Delbert John Rockecenter company that controls the world's petroleum.
Pinch, Miss-Lesbian sadist and a Delbert John Rockecenter employee. She lives with Candy Licorice and has $80,000 of Soltan Gris's money.
Psychiatric Birth Control-A plan, funded by Delbert John Rockecenter, to reduce the world's population by promoting homosexuality.
Raht-An Apparatus agent on Earth who was assigned by Lombar Hisst to help Soltan Gris sabotage Jettero Heller's mission; his partner Terb was murdered.
Receiver-The activator-receiver is a unit that Soltan Gris uses to activate and receive the signals from the bugs that are implanted in the Countess Krak and Jettero Heller. The unit receives what they are seeing and hearing.
Respondo-mitters-Tiny devices implanted in the skull; they respond to sounds and visual images and transmit what the person is seeing and hearing.
Rockecenter, Delbert John-Native of Earth who controls the planet's fuel, finances, governments and drugs.
Simmons, Miss-An antinuclear fanatic who teaches Nature Appreciation 101 at EmpireUniversity. She is dedicated to flunking Jettero Heller out of school.
Ske-Soltan Gris's driver back on Voltar.
Smith, John-An alias that Soltan Gris uses as a Delbert John Rockecenter employee.
Spiteos-The secret mountain fortress and prison run by the Apparatus on Voltar where the Countess Krak and Jettero Heller had been imprisoned.
Spurk-Owner of the Eyes and Ears of Voltar, an electronics store on Voltar. He was killed by Soltan Gris so that Gris could steal the Bugging Gear that was then implanted in Jettero Heller and, later, the Countess Krak.
Stabb, Captain-Leader of the Antimancos at the Afyon base.
Sultan Bey-The Turkish name Soltan Gris assumes in Afyon.
Swindle and Crouch-Law firm that represents Delbert John Rockecenter's interests.
Tayl, Widow-Nymphomaniac on Voltar.
Terb –Apparatus agent on Earth and partner of Raht until he was murdered.
Time-sight-Voltarian navigational aid used on faster-than-light ships to spot obstructions in the future and thus change the present course to avoid them.
Torgut-A former Turkish wrestling champion.
Twiddle, Senator-U. S. congressional supporter of Delbert John Rockecenter.
Utanc-A belly dancer that Soltan Gris bought to be his concubine slave.
Visio-respondo-mitter-See Respondo-mitters.
Voltar-Home planet and seat of the 110-world Confederacy that was established over 125,000 years ago. Voltar is ruled by the Emperor through the Grand Council in accordance with the Invasion Timetable.
Whiz Kid-Nickname given to Jettero Heller by J. Walter Madison. Madison also has a "double" playing the part of Jerome Terrance Wister in order to get publicity without Heller's consent.
Wister, Jerome Terrance-Name that Jettero Heller is using on Earth
.
Zanco-Medical and cellological equipment and supplies company on Voltar. Soltan Gris contracted with them for a large order of supplies in order to stock a hospital in Afyon, where Prahd Bittlestiffender would change the appearance of Earth criminals for substantial sums of money.
831 Relayer-Used to boost the signals from the Bugging Gear when the Countess Krak or Jettero Heller are more than 200 miles from the receiver that Soltan Gris carries to secretly monitor them.
PART THIRTY-SIX
To My Lord Turn, Justiciary of the Royal Courts and Prison, Government City, Planet Voltar, Voltar Confederacy
Your Lordship, Sir!
I, Soltan Gris, Grade XI General Services Officer, former Secondary Executive of the Coordinated Information Apparatus, Voltar Confederacy (Long Live His Imperial Majesty Cling the Lofty), am herewith presenting with all due humility the fifth volume of the confession of my crimes.
While I have not heard back from Your Lordship, I am certain that by now I have convinced you that it was Fleet Officer Jettero Heller who drove me to these despicable actions.
It was only because of him that I ordered the Countess Krak and Doctor Crobe brought from Spiteos prison to Earth. Heller had been moving too fast and Lombar Hisst needed time to implement his plan to move from control of the Apparatus to control of the Confederacy itself. Krak would give us that time. She had slowed Heller to a crawl when we were preparing to leave for Earth. I knew that she would do the same to him again. Then if necessary, I could move in the vicious Doctor Crobe and cut Heller down.
On the other hand, I figured I might need Crobe's medical skills to piece Heller together when Krak found out that he was living at the Gracious Palms whorehouse with a bevy of beautiful women. I had personally witnessed how she could kill men twice her size with her bare hands. Heller would be nothing. After all, I wanted to take my own personal revenge on this upstart Royal officer.
I also had a score to settle with the Countess Krak. She had tricked me into wearing a hypnohelmet and then given me a command to become violently ill if I thought of harming Heller. I vowed that she would pay dearly for all the times she had made me sick.